From a recent internal memo to Planning Staff

“Colleagues in Planning,

I have been asked by the CMO to pass along some changes to Departmental procedure that will affect our work. Please make a note.

Starting on Monday (technically, Sunday at midnight but for most of us this means Monday!), the following new operating procedures will come into effect:

New Terminology: the City of Pittsburgh has issued a cease and desist letter to the COV about the use of the term “Greenest City “. Unbeknownst to us, they have already copywrited the term! Hence we are now calling ourselves the “Greener-est City”. Also we are asked to emphasise at every available opportunity that we will not only be green, but also greener than Pittsburgh.

Absences: we now need to submit requests 7 days in advance for the following:
-off-site lunch meetings
-sick time longer than one day
-days on which we don’t expect to very much done (even if it’s through no fault of our own)

Pre-Report Approval: as per usual, all reports should be submitted well in advance. Also, we should prepare an initial pre-report outline (i.e. when you have an idea for a report you may write within the next few years) before any project scoping commences. We need to provide as much detail as possible on the expected recommendations (don’t forget to mention how they will align with the Greenerest City Action Plan), yet keep it very short and simple. This should be presented in three or fewer PowerPoint slides to be submitted 8 weeks in advance of doing any further thinking about the project. “